On match-making apps, single life and a modern dating photoshoot

Oh, dating and single life in 2016. It's all lolz.

I mean, sometimes it seems totally tragic and makes you want to tear your hair out in despair, run away to the ocean and live out the rest of your life alone as a mermaid. But the rest of the time, it's pretty lolz.

I date.

I'm on the dating apps.

Three of them, to be precise: Tinder, Happn and Once.

Everyone knows Tinder, and to be honest I think it's reached Facebook-level ubiquity amongst my generation. It's sort of a given that any single 20-something will been Tinder. Or the vast majority anyway.

See someone you fancy in the pub? Great. You'd better go home and try and find them on Tinder later. God forbid you actually go and talk to them in person.

And let's be real, even if you do meet someone in real life, it's never that romantic is it? People seem to meet through work or in a bar.

I go through phases with Tinder (and the other two dating apps too tbh), but you can't deny that that swiping is darn fun.

Tinder is weird though. And you get some weirdos. (We'll get to those.)

But then plenty of my friends are in long-term relationships that started on Tinder. It's just normal now. Would I prefer to meet someone IRL or through friends? Of course. But you've gotta roll with the times.

Then there's Happn, which shows you who you've crossed paths with.

Good in theory, but totally overwhelming in practice. Do you have any idea how many men I cross paths with on an average day in London? It's absurd. You'd need to be on it all the time to get anywhere and ain't nobody got time for that. So if I like someone on Happn, the chances of matching with them are super slim because it's very unlikely they'll even see my profile.

I think it'd be better if you could somehow search, for example, for people you crossed paths with at a certain time or a particular place so then you can try and track down that hot guy across the room from you in Pret at 4pm last Saturday. You're welcome for the idea, Happn.

And then there's Once, which is meant to be a step back to more traditional match-making. You put in your details, a bunch of pics and some info about what you're looking for. Then, real people - proper matchmakers - send you one match per day.

Well, supposedly one, but pretty much every day I get a notification saying "It's your lucky day! You got a second match." So I feel like maybe it should be called Twice but that's not so catchy. I like that on Once you tend to get a bit more info about your potential suitors, but it's yet to lead to any dates.

The trouble is, everyone googles everyone these days. I try not to do it when dating someone, but it's hard to resist.

A guy with whom I was chatting on Once actually told me he'd stalked me online and that I "sure tweet a lot!" Like, AND what? I mean, is it just me or was that a bit of a weird thing to say? He didn't even know my last name so must have done some serious stalking.

Although it's not as creepy as when I get message requests from men on Facebook saying they've seen me on Tinder. Again, considering they only see my first name I have no idea how they find me. I haven't had any too awful messages but it's still creepy. I mean, do they really think I'm going to reply? Are they that desperate?

Speaking of desperation, I am just basically never going to swipe right on someone who super-likes me. It's just too keen, boys. You've got to play it cooler.

So yeah, dating apps. I mean, there are a ridiculous number out there, some of which are insanely niche. But I'm only on three.

ONLY three!? cry the coupled-up/older amongst you. But it's the norm. *shrugs*

Like, I'm totally fabulous and awesome and loving life and having a bloody awesome time by myself, but it might be nice to have a special person, ya know? It looks kinda cute in rom-coms.

So if one hopes to find a companion for restaurant-frequenting, one hits the apps. And if you want to do it seriously, you've gotta commit some serious time to swiping and scrolling. I never do because there are too many fun things going on in actual life which is why I'm probably going to die alone, but I hop on and off the ole apps.

However, you have to sift through a fair few no-hopers before you find anyone who might even potentially be what you're looking for.

Let's see...

Alex 24 was not the one. What was that emoji!?

And unfortunately for Paul, opening by criticising my employer was never going to get a reply.

There are guys who clearly are not boyfriend material (and apparently haven't even bothered checking for typos)...

*swipes left*

Does Charlie 33 not sound like the very definition of lovely?

Of course there are plenty of guys who only want one thing (maybe the same goes for girls, I wouldn't know)...

I mean, fair enough, do what you want. But if that's not what you're after, you just have to weed those guys out.

I only wish I'd started screens hotting more of these as there have been some real gems.

But to do it properly, you have to work hard on crafting the perfect profile.

It's a shallow world, is that of dating apps, and it works both ways. I'll dismiss a guy if he:

• is wearing a V-neck T-shirt or a vest (hate them)
• has taken a selfie (god forbid a mirror one), lest it's a group shot
• has a grammatical error in his bio
• only has group pictures (mate I don't have time to work out which one you are)
• reveals he's shorter than me #soznotsoz
• has tattoos or earrings
• says he's just visiting (and is thus definitely only after a hook-up)

Brutal, I know. But a gal's gotta be picky.

I know for a fact that the majority of men are not so picky. Yet I still believe it's important to put thought into my own profile, largely because the image I create of myself should say something about the type of guy I hope to attract. 

You guys, pictures are so important, and that is something Saskia Nelson realised a few years ago.

I came across Saskia's story when I interviewed her for work (have a read here, amigos) and was super impressed: after years of online dating and encountering men who looked nothing like their photos, photographer Saskia spotted a niche in the market and realised she could really help people by setting up the UK's first specialised dating profile photography agency. 

Enter Hey, Saturday.

Saskia believes (and I do agree) that it's soon going to reach the point where fuzzy, bad-quality, badly composed pictures just aren't going to get you anywhere when it comes to online dating. Everyone's upping their game, and she's helping them.

Extremely kindly, Saskia offered to take a few snaps for me, which was both daunting and exciting.

With a couple of changes of clothes, Saskia shot me in various places along the Southbank, showing me just how knowledgeable about all this she is. We started somewhere quiet so I could get over my nerves, before moving to busier spots when I'd found my inner model. (Watch out, Gigi.)

She was fantastic at putting me at ease and by the end of the shoot I was having a ball. Um, can I have a professional photographer follow me round all the time, pls?

The idea isn't to take pictures that look like you've had a photoshoot, but rather to create the impression you've been hanging out with a friend who just happens to be an awesome photographer with an amazing camera.

What do you think of the shots? I'll be honest, I rather like them.

I haven't added them all to my dating app profiles yet, but a guy did message the other day to congratulate me on my great face, so I think they must be working. If nothing else, it's just lovely to have a couple of pictures of myself that I actually like.

And to be honest I think it's fascinating that this new industry exists - Hey Saturday may have been the original dating photography agency, but it's not the only one any more (I may be biased but I'm fairly certain it's the best one.)

So we shall see, eh friends. It's all fun and games. And hey, I'm in no rush. Being young and free and single in London is so much fun I can't even tell you, but if someone were to enter my life and make it even better, I'd be down for that. And maybe in this day and age, a nice snap might help bring that about. Who knows?!

Would laaaaaave to hear your thoughts on all this, friends! Are you on the apps? Have you had any similar experiences? Are you tempted to have a photoshoot?

Is there a generational divide in society's attitude to sexual harassment and is it a problem?

Pic by Saskia Nelson

On Friday morning, about 20 metres from my front door on the way to Brixton tube station, I walked past a young man. As I passed, he said, "Hey gorgeous, wanna be my girlfriend?"

Naturally, I ignored him, as I (and I imagine the majority of women) always do. Sure, it was annoying but it was ultimately harmless and not particularly threatening. It happens all the time. I marched on.

Less than fifteen minutes and four stops on the tube later, just after turning out of the stairs at the exit to the tube at Victoria station, a man grabbed my bum.

I whipped round to see a tall man with dark hair in a khaki jacket scurrying off through the crowds in exactly the opposite direction to the way I was going.

I couldn't believe it.

A blonde lady with a pushchair nearby caught my eye. She'd seen it and asked if I was alright. I was really glad for that, as the previous time no one had seemed to notice.

Ah yes, the previous time. A mere two months earlier. An almost entirely identical incident in almost exactly the same location. It actually made me wonder whether it was the same man.

The difference is that this time I wasn't upset. I. Was. Livid!

Fuming. Raging. I'm not an angry person but I was so angry.

I tweeted, again (and prepared myself for the subsequent barrage of trolling that I got last time). But I didn't report it, go off and cry or even think about it much over the course of the day because it was manic at work and I had so much to do.

But what infuriated me even more was seeing these letters in the paper that very morning:

In case you missed it, they were in response to a story reporting that Nottinghamshire Police will now be treating misogyny and harassment of women as a hate crime. Disappointingly, the headline in the Telegraph and subsequently the letters chose to focus on wolf-whistling, when actually the story is about so much more.

But I just found it so frustrating that these attitudes persist amongst women!

And OK, I will hold my hands up and say I don't know the ages of the women whose letters were published, but I would put money on them being over 60 - I do some work with the letters desk at the Telegraph and I know for a fact the vast majority of their letters come in from retirees.

And when I posted the picture on Facebook, the comments from my friends - the majority of whom are in their early 20s - further hammered home the generational divide on this issue.

Rowena: "Anyone who talks about the "days of non-PC fun" of 50+ years ago is not to be taken seriously."

Rachel: "Ah yes, the days of non-PC fun when you could compliment your secretary's lovely rack without having to worry about pesky 'lawsuits'... Seriously, what is wrong with people!"

Amber: "It's a bit sad to think that women used to be happy about being validated on their looks alone and feel like it was a poor day if they hadn't be 'complimented' by a stranger as they liked the way they looked..."

Emily: "People aren't 'too PC', we just don't stand for the s**t we used to. F***ing morons. It's part of a bigger problem - starts with a wolf whistle, ends with sexual assault."

Valid points, don't you think?

Now I'm not saying by any means that all older people don't understand sexual harassment - many of my aunties and parents' friends have joined my Facebook outcry - but there's clearly something of a difference in the general view on this matter.

And how could there not be? Today's retired women grew up in a very different age to me and my friends.

But actually what I take away from this is encouraging: if the vast majority of my generation consider sexual harassment in the street as unacceptable, surely that will soon be the dominant view?

I mean... I know, I know: my Facebook friends do not reflect the UK as a whole - I grew up in a very pleasant middle-class bubble, and of course the circle I live now in reflects that - but still, I think there's hope that things will change for the better.

And the more we talk about it, the better. Hence why I am ranting about this subject again and am so thrilled to see more and more of my peers discussing sexual assault.

I implore you to read this post by my friend Hannah, as well as this one by my fantastically feminist friend Emily, oh and I'd also love to draw your attention to the Object Project which aims to highlight and shout about incidents of sexual assault, be that a grope or rape.

None of it is OK.

Because whilst a wolf-whistle from the occasional workman is usually harmless, there have been many times when - especially when alone at night but just as equally in the day - leery comments from male strangers have made me feel very uncomfortable, scared and vulnerable. I hate that when walking through a park alone I feel afraid. And I shouldn't have to. None of us should.

Women make up over half the population! We are not a minority!

Not that I'm saying it would be OK to treat a minority group in such a way. I guess it kind of just makes me sad that there are people, and women especially, who don't see the problem with this kind of behaviour. But like I said, I hope that's changing.

And men, I'm not trying to make you scared to pay a woman any attention lest it come across as sexual harassment, but there is a humongous difference between having a flirt with someone in a bar or at a party when she's been giving you the eye and the vibes, and paying absolutely unwanted attention as a stranger on the street when a gal is just going about her daily life.

Pretty obviously different contexts, wouldn't you say? I don't think it's difficult to understand, and I'm fairly certain all the men I know get it.

But maybe there are in fact women my age who enjoy having crude hand gestures directed at them by men in vans or being cat-called by a group of male builders. Do you? Does it feel flattering? Please do tell me, I'd love to try and understand.

And dear god, if I get groped at Victoria Station AGAIN I am going to hit the roof. And chase down the man, accuse him of sexual assault and see how big and strong he feels then. Ha!

Please do let me know your thoughts on all this.

My new job at Time To Log Off!

Ladies and gents, girls and boys, I’d like to introduce you to a very exciting new company called Time To Log Off who run digital detox retreats and resources.

As of a couple of months ago, I’m their new Online Marketing and Social Media Manager which is super exciting. The job is only part-time but that's ideal for me right now and I'm absolutely LOVING everything I'm doing, learning lots about launching a business (our founder has so much experience!), digital detoxes and social media strategy as I go.

Time To Log Off’s mission is to teach people the huge benefits of being 'unplugged' from their tech - there is so much research coming out about the importance of time away from screens (especially for children) and we want to introduce people to that via workshops, talks, resources and retreats.

Our founder, Tanya Goodin, was one of the first women working in digital in the UK and is now one of the first leading the 'unplugging' movement, which I think is pretty damn cool.

Now I know what keen followers and friends amongst you may be thinking: “Um, seriously Rachel? YOU?! The most technologically-addicted person I know? Working for a company that advocates stepping away from your gadgets?” And I can see the irony.

However, through my work I’m also learning just how important it is to take time off from your gadgets and, well, to log off! It’s definitely something I’m working on, and I think it’s really important that we all do.

It is not rare for me to be simultaneously on my iPhone, iPad and laptop, thus not really focussing on anything properly. Did you know we now have attention spans worse than those of goldfish? True story.

Here is a picture of a goldfish who is clearly pretty shocked by that fact:

If you need some more convincing may I direct you to the Resources section of the website, where you’ll find a whole bunch of articles I’ve written about why a digital detox is such a great thing to do (amongst other fun stuff like food).

Oh, and we’re not just about digital detoxes though! Time To Log Off is also really big on yoga, healthy eating, connecting with nature and doing flow activities (like colouring, surfing and knitting.)

And what I’m most excited about is how all these aspects are going to come together on our retreats!

The first one is taking place in Puglia, Italy, in October and I think it’s going to be literally amazing!

I don’t want to reveal tooooo much, but you can have a lookie at the itinerary here if ya like. I think it’s going to be so much fun, albeit a challenge for moi.

So if you, like me, are somewhat concerned that your smartphone addiction is getting out of hand, have a peruse of the website, maybe try the 5:2 digital diet or perhaps even come on one of our retreats.

I’d love to hear what you think of the unplugging movement – do you, like me, think you have an unhealthy digital addiction?

(Oh, and if you wouldn’t mind awfully giving us a lil like over on Facey B and perhaps even a follow on Insta or Twitter that would make me a very happy Social Media Manager.)

Goodbye, Acne Girl

*deep breath* It's time to bare all again.

Before I get started, I should say that if you didn't read my post last February about my struggles with acne, you may want to give it at least a quick skim before delving into this here post. A bit of context will help, you see.

So yeah, the above? That's my skin in January 2015 compared to June 2015. And I am bloody terrified at the prospect of posting it on the internet. For the whole wide world to see (should they be so inclined, that is.)

But I'm posting it nonetheless as I think we need to talk about acne more - all the lovely messages and comments you guys gave me in response to my Acne Girl post made me realise that.

Let's show everyone what acne is really like. And it's pretty bloody disgusting in my opinion, ergo my terror at the prospect of posting photos of my face in all its acnelicious glory. No make-up, no filters, no editing, just acne.

Although I know some people's acne is a lot worse than mine was, I didn't even want to post pictures of my acne back in February as I was embarrassed - it looked horrible! Not even my friends had guessed it was that bad thanks to the sneaky little helper that is make-up. But I hated wearing make-up everyday. It didn't look good, but it looked better than going bare-faced.

Six months down the line, however, and it's a whole different story. (OK now it's August it's technically eight months down the line but I took these snaps in June as I wanted to do a "six months on" post... Theeeeen this post got delayed. You know how it is. Oh, and the "after" pics are equally sans make-up, filters or editing.)

You guys, my acne is gone!

Spot-free and smiling at Graduation, which will be blogged about soon, ma dears.

IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY I CAN'T EVEN COPE!

Practically every time I look in the mirror, I smile (internally that is, otherwise I'd look like a right weirdo) - not because I'm super vain and consider myself such a beautiful young lady, but because the joy at no longer having acne still hasn't worn off.

I imagine those lucky people who have always had flawless skin don't know what I mean, but to you people I say this: appreciate your beautiful skin, you fortunate folk.

It's not an understatement to say my life has changed now my skin has cleared up. I'm so much happier! Obvs I was happy before, because hey, I'm a happy gal, but boy am I happier now.

You may think that makes me superficial or shallow, but I care about what I look like - your face is the first thing people see, and how you feel about your looks impacts everything else you do.

Now I'm so much more confident. Although yes, you'd be right to suggest I wasn't exactly lacking in confidence before.

I never wear make-up on my skin and I love that so much. I know other girls who do the same, but some of my friends were utterly gobsmacked upon learning I don't wear a fleck of make-up.

And now I don't care about being seen without make-up on, I dive right in at pool parties, I happily mooch around at house parties the-morning-after-the-night-before and I'm generally a lot more chilled. Well, for me. I am not the most chilled of people.

Essentially, acne is a worry with which I no longer have to contend.

#NoMakeupSelfie #CouldveMadeMyHairLookBetterThough

But how have I done this? I hear you ask.

Well, dear chums, there have been two factors involved in my skin transformation:

1. A vegan, gluten-free, refined sugar-free diet, 75% of the time at least. OK, maybe 65%. Because, cheeseburgers.

2. Roaccutane (a drug you have to get from the dermatologist.)

I overhauled my diet and started taking Roaccutane (albeit on the absolute lowest dosage) in January and haven't looked back.

Roaccutane is, for most acne sufferers, a marvel. When I see people with really bad acne in the street, I always feel like I want to go up to them and whisper "mate, get Roaccutane, thank me later."

I was warned about the supposedly horrendous side-effects of Roaccutane: exhaustion, feeling down all the time, skin so dry it cracks. But d'you know what? I haven't experienced any of 'em! Aside from slightly drier lips resulting in a Vaseline addiction.

It's been a dream!

Obviously I won't be on Roaccutane forever though, and I've heard stories of people whose acne came back after they came off the drug *shudders at the prospect*. But hopefully *crosses everything* a healthy diet will be enough to keep me spot-free post-Roaccutane.

So there you have it! I'd love to hear your thoughts on acne and spots and it'd be great to know if you relate to any of my waffle. I hope we can all talk a little bit more about the downright bummer that is acne, and I hope y'all can be encouraged to know that Acne Girls (and guys) need not be Acne Girls forever: there is very much always hope.

Blogging, Bristol and bananas: My #bristol52faces University of Bristol interview.

Having loved following the #bristol52faces campaign for months, I was both shocked and honoured when an email popped into my inbox asking me if I'd like to be one of the faces featured.

The social media campaign was inspired by the multi award-winning Humans of New York (if you don't already like them on Facebook, get on it ASAP) and has thus far featured a super interesting range of people making up the University of Bristol community - from the porter of the Wills Memorial Building (a beautiful building where we study, have lectures and graduate *gulp*) to particular interesting alumni.

I'm really proud to have been one of 52 faces of the University of Bristol so thought I'd share my interview with you all here. Hope you enjoy it!


Name and Association with the University of Bristol:

‘My name is Rachel Hosie and I’m a final year French and German student. I’m also the Online Editor of Epigram, the University of Bristol’s student paper, and in my free time I write my own blog, ‘Handbags and Cupcakes’. It’s quite busy and a bit of a balancing act, but everyone is really busy this year. Most of us have this mind-set that final year is your last chance to get involved in societies and because the degree work steps up a lot, I’ve realised that you have to pick and choose carefully what you want to do because there isn’t time to do everything.’


Do you think this mind-set was accelerated after being away on your year abroad?

‘It’s really different abroad which did make me appreciate the British student culture - and especially student culture here in Bristol - more. We have such great opportunities outside of studies: so many societies, events and fun things going on. We’re really lucky to have it. I was teaching English in Germany and I taught my sixth form students about how we have societies like the Harry Potter Society and the Tea Appreciation Society. They all thought it was hilarious but amazing. They suddenly all wanted to come to university in the UK!’

Favourite place in Bristol:

‘I love Bristol, I love it so much, especially on sunny days. It sounds way too obvious but I’d have to say the Suspension Bridge. It’s really striking and it’s really beautiful and seeing the fireworks over it was stunning; it was like it was raining glitter. It was really moving. Also, I’m not a scientist, but it blows my mind how it stays up!’


You’ve won awards for your blog: ‘Handbags and Cupcakes’, when did you start it?

‘Nearly five years ago now, but it took me a while to get it really going. I started it because I liked writing and wanted to practice; I wasn’t that bothered whether people read it or not, it just seemed like a fun thing to do.

‘I hate looking back at my old blog posts though, I cringe so much. For example my photos from my early blog posts are horrendous. But it’s also a fun thing to see; to see how you’ve developed over time and how your interests have changed. It’s hard to start a blog knowing what your niche is before you start doing it. My blog actually started as a style blog before I realised that I wasn’t as fashionable as I thought I was nor as interested in it as I thought! I now think of it as a lifestyle/ food blog: lifestyle because I just write about whatever I want, and food because, well, food features heavily in my life!’


Do you have any tips for other bloggers?

‘People often ask me how they can grow and develop their blog. I’m no expert, but as a general rule I’d always say that it takes time. I don’t think you can expect to get a million blog views overnight even if your content is amazing because it takes time for people to share your articles and for word of mouth to get out.’

‘The best way to write your blog is also to write about what you know. I think that’s the only way to come across as authentic. People always ask me: ‘how do you make your posts so positive and enthusiastic?’ and I always respond like: ‘really? I didn’t even realise I was doing that’…. I guess I just get really excited about a lot of things and that comes across in my blog posts!’

Favourite UoB memory:

‘The Arts Ball in second year. That’s another thing British Universities do so well: balls. This one was in the Bristol Museum, so a gorgeous location, and all of my friends were there so it was really fun. But actually one of the reasons I remember that night so fondly is because it’s one of my most cherished memories with a former course-mate and friend, Anna Crossman, who sadly died suddenly at the end of second year before she went on her year abroad to Paris. I do look back on that night fondly as I spent a lot of my time with her and we had a lot of lovely pictures taken together.’


Question from the last person, Jason: ‘If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?’

‘I’m going to say bananas. They are very versatile: if you freeze a banana you can whizz it up into ice cream, you can mash it up for something different, you can dry it out into crunchy chips and also, depending upon the ripeness of your banana, it can have so many different levels of sweetness. I’m all about the bananas!’


Do you have a question for the next person?

‘What is the most important thing that studying/ working in Bristol has taught you?’


What do you think of the campaign and my interview? Do let me know!

Acne girl.

Acne girl. That's what he called me. We were in art club during lunch break at school. I was in Year 8, he was Year 6.

Acne girl.

Little boys are mean, aren't they?

I was just 13 at the time. Nearly ten years ago now. But I've never forgotten that.

It's by the by that I was top of the school (Head Girl even), he was two years below and this was clearly a breach of the school ground hierarchy. But no one should be called 'acne girl', no matter who they are.

...

I've never really spoken about it on my blog, but after briefly mentioning my skin struggles in a post a few weeks ago and receiving such lovely, supportive comments in response, I thought I'd take a deep breath and let it all out. It's not easy to bare all like this, but here goes...

No one in my family has spots. How unfair is that? I've been the spotty one for as long as I can remember.

I’ve tried EVERYTHING to clear up my skin: first, high street products; then everything the doctor could prescribe, from topical creams to antibiotics to various forms of the pill; and I also went to see a dermatologist. Nothing worked, not sustainably anyway.

I remember a particular trip to the GP a couple of years after the 'acne girl' incident. The doctor told me I had "severe acne". I was a sensitive 15 year old, alone in the doctor's office, trying my very hardest to hold back the tears. Needless to say I let them all out afterwards.

Gotta love a bit of black and white to smooth out your complexion

A lot of people have teenage acne apparently. Some worse than others. Some people have flawless skin throughout. Grrr.

But teenage acne is different to adult acne. The former tends to affect the T-zone, whereas the latter takes hold more on the cheeks and chin. Charming.

Most teenage acne sufferers are freed from their spotty prison as they grow up. Some of us are less fortunate, with teenage acne seamlessly morphing into adult acne. "HAAA HAAA! Thought you were getting rid of me?" mocks adult acne. "I'm going to be making your life miserable for, well, the rest of your life, acne girl."

That's where I'm at.

You can hide spots on the rest of your body, but not on your face. It doesn't half knock your confidence.

You wouldn't guess it with me, I know. (I often use “Silky Skin mode” on my camera which is literally a GODSEND.) And truth be told, I am a confident, stable, strong, secure young lady in pretty much every aspect of life. (Y'all know how much I love life!) But it got to the stage where I all I saw when I looked in the mirror were spots.

No makeup + tan + silky skin mode = what acne?

Over the past few months I'd been wearing more and more makeup to cover up my itchy, painful, red adult acne. I hate having to do that. If I could, I'd go out bare-faced, but trust me, all the makeup looks better than the alternative.

I sit in seminars looking at all my friends and realise I'm pretty much the only one with skin this bad. Sure, a lot of us still get occasional pimples in our early twenties, but it's not the same really. What I'd give for just the occasional pimple!

The fact of the matter is, acne does not look good. It's not damaging my health, but I hate it. My desire for it to be gone is pure vanity, but I'd feel so much better in myself if I had acne-free skin.

The thing is, I'm hopefully soon going to be starting a career in the world of work. I want to look professional, and grown-up, and be taken seriously. That's harder with acne all over your face.

…

So a month or so ago I decided enough was enough and went back to see the dermatologist. Mum and I knew there was one last option I hadn’t tried. A strong drug that is only prescribed in serious cases. A drug called Roaccutane.

The dermatologist had told mum and I about it years ago, but we all decided I shouldn’t take such a severe step while still a teenager and before trying everything out there.

Roaccutane has been known to have some pretty harsh side-effects (extremely dry skin, sensitivity to sunlight, weariness), and because of one bad story Mum read years ago of a teenager committing suicide after taking the drug (probably in the Daily Mail), she was not in the slightest bit keen for me to take it.

But after talking it through with the dermatologist, I was adamant that I had to give it a try. He said it was the best option for me too.

The iPhone selfie camera has a pleasing smoothing effect.

Roaccutane has a 95% success rate in clearing up acne in 4-6 months, and for about 70% of people, skin stays clear for life afterwards. With stats like that, how could I not be keen?! I was desperate. Pretty sure I can put up with a few months of extra moisturising and wearing a higher SPF every day if I’m going to get rid of my acne.

Luckily, the dermatologist eased mum’s worries, explaining that suicide scare-stories about the drug were massive one-offs and were likely due to insecure teenagers who were already depressed, as tragic as that is. Just from our brief meeting, the doctor said he could tell I’m a stable, secure, together young lady and that mum had nothing to worry about.

Of course, every single person responds to a drug differently, so you can never be 100% sure.

…

Due to the challenge that it is to get a doctor’s appointment these days, it was a couple of weeks before I could start taking the drug, in which time I started alkaline eating – in short, cutting out dairy, refined sugar, meat, gluten and caffeine. Well, 80% of the time anyway.

I’d read that eating an alkaline diet has cleared up acne for some people, and amazingly, I started to see improvements in my skin in just two weeks! My skin looked calmer, less angry and my skintone was smoother.

It was tempting to put off taking Roaccutane to see if the diet alone would solve the problem, but not tempting enough.

I’ve been taking the drug for nearly a month now and am hoping Roaccutane combined with my diet will result in flawless skin asap.

So, is it working? Excitingly, yes!

Slowly, of course. I’m not expecting to have a face as smooth as a baby’s bum for a few months yet and of course I still have spots, but it’s getting better, which is the most encouraging thing in the world.

I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to look in the mirror every day and see the little improvements.

Makeup + good camera = acne girl's best friends. Cocktails and cookies are also good friends.

I doubt other people have really noticed yet, but you always notice gradual changes yourself before anyone else does. Well, you and your mum maybe.

But what’s super fun is that I now feel confident enough to go out without make-up on. And I haven’t felt that way for a looooong time.

Sure, my skin is drier than normal but not horrendously so. Maybe it’s going to get worse as the course of treatment continues, who knows? And apart from that I feel totally my normal, happy, healthy self, yay!

…

It’s almost silly that something as seemingly small as the skin on your face can make such a difference to your confidence, but it does. And I firmly believe that when you feel more confident you will be more successful in everything you do.

So I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I can soon leave Acne Girl behind for good and become the Smooth-Skin Girl I’ve always felt inside.

Does anyone else relate to any of this? Please do let me know so I don’t feel awfully exposed and regret this personal post… 

PS. I'm not loving how many pictures of me there are in this post but I wasn't sure what else to use to break up the text. Thought I'd spare you the gross acne close-ups as for all I know you're reading this over breakfast. I'd never do that to you, lovely readers. Mmm breakfast...

My Telegraph piece: 11 things you'll only understand when back at uni after a year abroad.

Super excited to share my first piece as a student writer for the Telegraph! Hope you all like it. And post-year-abroaders... do ya feel me? #postyearabroadproblems 

Pic from the Telegraph

Whether you filled your days studying, working or – as is often the case – doing very little, living it up abroad for a year, or even just a semester, was always going to be a good decision. Coming back to the uni bubble afterwards, however, can bring both joy and pain, and there are certain things you’ll only understand upon your return…


1. Timehop makes you die inside every single day 

Yet at the same time you can’t bear to delete it. Oh, look how much fun I was having this time last year. I’d much rather be sitting in the library writing an essay. No, really! These are definitely not tears. It’s just, um, winter hay fever.


2. After months of travelling, you get twitchy having to stay in one city for weeks on end

As much as you may love your university city, nothing compares to the amount of travelling you did on what was essentially an extended holiday. And the chances are you know your surrogate home country better than you do the UK, despite having lived here for two decades.


3. You realise German Christmas markets in the UK aren’t actually that German…

French bread isn’t particularly French, and pizza in Britain might as well be a completely different food to the authentic Italian. Jamie’s Italian will never hold the same charm as before.


4. Baked beans, scones and fish & chips have never tasted so good

(Not together though. That would be weird.) The majority of the world outside the UK may think our cuisine is horrendous, but you know better. There’s nothing like a stint abroad to make you appreciate the manna from heaven that is a proper roast dinner.


5. Everyone assumes you’re fluent in a foreign language

You know you’ll never be 100 per cent fluent as there are TOO. MANY. WORDS! “But you lived there, you must be fluent,” they say. Rather than explain that you, in fact, spent most of your time hanging out with other Brits and everyone abroad speaks English, it’s simpler to just smile and nod. They don’t need to know the truth.


6. The joy at shops being open on Sundays still hasn’t worn off

Praise the Lord for no longer having to make sure you have enough food for Sunday and Monday morning. (We’ve all been caught out by that cheeky Monday breakfast before, right?) Oh, and good riddance, lunchtime closing hour. Or, if you were in France, three hours.


7. Not having to specifically ask for milk when ordering tea brings a smile to your face

And no longer receiving perplexed looks upon making your cuppa. “Your tea looks like weird chocolate milk,” they said. “Your tea is wrong,” we thought in response. Oh, the sweet sweet joy at not having to specify ‘black tea’ any more. When we say tea, we know what we mean. Finally, you’re back amongst civilised folk who understand the importance, power and majesty of a cup of tea.


8. Alcohol is once again expensive

Remember when beer was cheaper than water and a bottle of Prosecco cost 3 Euros? Those were the days.


9. Tap water is a thing

On the subject of water, as a poor student you will never again take for granted the availability of free water when eating out. What a treat to no longer receive a puzzled look and a shot glass of warm water upon asking abroad. Because that’s really going to hydrate me.


10. You’re not special any more

We could blame all our strange ways on being British (“Oh, well eating two breakfasts is actually totally normal in the UK”), and it was fun being the foreign, interesting, exotic one. Well, exotic as you can be coming from Leicestershire.


11. It’s back to real money

Euros = basically Monopoly money, right? And oh, the treat that is once again being able to pay by card EVERYWHERE!

So what do you think? Make my day and check out my piece on the Telegraph here!

All I want for Christmas? My dream career.

So there I was, hanging out my laundry while listening to Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You.’ As you do.

The talented wordsmith that she is, Mariah got me thinking. Was there any particular member of the male species I wanted for Christmas? Negative.

So what did I want?

What do I really want?

Well, I want a career. My dream career.

I’d spent the evening working on a certain graduate scheme application and feeling guilty for not devoting said time to my uni essays. But the trouble is, I’m far more interested in kick-starting my career at the moment. Getting a taste of the real world on my year abroad probably didn’t help either.

I know, I know, I should make the most of my final year as a student.

I know, I have the rest of my life to think about the working world.

And I know, there’s no point applying to anything if I’m not going to graduate with a 2:1.

But, as Mariah says, ‘what more can I do?’ This is where I’m at right now.

…

I feel like I’ve been building up to this moment my whole life – all the work placements, internships and shadowing; all the time spent imagining my working life; all my goals, aims and dreams of climbing the career ladder once I’ve finished my education.

It’s all about to happen.

And while that is beyond exciting, it’s also super terrifying.

What if it doesn’t turn out the way I’ve always hoped?

One thing I’m stubbornly having to accept is that you can’t plan everything. Whenever I speak to people who are essentially doing one of my dream jobs, they always seem to say, “Well, I actually sort of fell into the job, really.” Which is so unhelpful for an ambitious, enthusiastic, keen-bean kiddo like myself.

And the fact of the matter is, it’s a scaaaary world out there for a grad. (Yes, I know I’m not even a grad yet.)

It’s blimmin’ competitive, particularly in journalism.

…

As a final year student I’m facing this difficulty of not knowing how to prioritise my life: how do I balance uni work with job applications and working unpaid jobs? Which is the most important?

I’m really not sure, and I keep going through phases.

Even if the majority of final year students weren’t applying for grad schemes and the like, this would be a bloomin’ stressful year.

Seriously.

All. The. Stress.

I can quite foresee having a minor mental breakdown before this year is over, but let’s just push that to one side for now. That’s a whole other blog post really.

…

Applying for jobs is a big deal.

Sure, I’ve applied for millions of work placements, part-time jobs and internships in my time, but they’re not the same. Nowhere close.

These are actual jobs. In the actual world. Which will be your actual life.

And the reason it’s so scary is that I care so much. I really REALLY want to get something awesome, but – as our mothers have always said – all we can do is our best. (And as usual, they’re totally right.)

But what if my best isn’t good enough? It’d be disappointing. Massively so. But I suppose rejection is a part of life. Oh, we have so many life lessons to learn, fellow young grasshoppers!

And I do believe everything happens for a reason, so there’s something we must all try and remember when things don’t go as planned.

…

You're probably wondering what my dream career actually is. Well, there isn't just one dream. I have a few. But they're all in a similar ballpark (journalism, I'm looking at you), and I know I'm lucky to even have an inkling as to what I want to do with myself post-graduation.

I do believe this is a fabulously exciting time for all my friends and me though. So many opportunities! The world truly is our oyster!

Buuuut before I can dive headfirst into said oyster I need to finish life in the uni bubble. (Did this ‘under the sea’ metaphor work?)

And on that note, it’s back to the degree.

PS. Father Christmas, I realise you can't actually give me my dream career, so a present or two under the tree will be gratefully received as an alternative. 

What do you think about uni and graduate jobs?

Generation Sensible

Young people: Drunks. Drug-users. Promiscuous partiers.

Or not.

Over the past few weeks I’ve read an increasing number of articles about how today’s young people are in fact turning away from the reckless behaviour we under-25s have long been known for.

Despite what everyone hears about student antics (the Neknomination trend certainly didn’t help), the heaviest drinkers in the UK are now the 45-54 age group. Yup, we’re looking at you, parents.

Recent figures show that the number of 11-15 year olds who drink dropped from 25% to 9% over the past ten years, and amongst the same age group the number admitting to ever taking drugs fell to 16%, down from 26% in 2001.

These figures may be only for young teenagers, but as a 21-year-old I’ve certainly noticed the trend amongst my own age group too.

A wild night of snapchatting (you can see how much fun I'm having!)

I am a self-confessed and unashamed good girl. I’ve never taken drugs or done so much as touch a cigarette, I don’t drink to excess, and I always do my homework.

And before you denounce me as a freak who needs to get a life, I know I’m not alone.

It’s been said that the reason we’re less interested in addictive, dangerous substances is because we have another addiction. Something we can’t live without. Something on which we’re totally hooked.

The internet.

And from my own experience, I can say that sounds kinda true. I get twitchy if I have to go a whole day without internet (*shudders thinking about it*), I can’t go much more than five minutes without checking my phone, I probably spend around 95% of my waking hours looking at a screen, and I’m constantly on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest and Whatsapp.

While this internet-dependency may play a part in the transformation of today’s youth and our lack of interest in drugs and booze, I don’t think that’s the whole story.

The fact of the matter is, times are hard. And don’t we know it.

Day in day out, we’re bombarded with the news that there aren’t enough jobs for young people, we won’t get on the housing ladder until we’re 73, and doing the bare minimum to scrape through exams simply isn’t good enough.

We gots to work hard!

Despite our love of the internet, young people aren’t just whiling our days away on Facebook or taking Buzzfeed quizzes (although that does occur too – you’ve gotta know which Inbetweener you are, right?).

No, we’re busier than ever, studying into the wee hours while simultaneously finding time to play the lead in a musical, organise a society ball, climb a mountain for charity, run for student elections, edit the uni paper and work a part-time job. Oh, and we also do unpaid internships every school/uni holiday.

In 'Anything Goes' at uni

Remember that one time I ran 10K?

Guess what? We’re exhaauuuusted.

Personally, I really enjoy doing everything I do, but we all know we need these extra-curriculars to boost our CVs too.

Who has the time or energy to go out boozing every night when you’ve got essays to write on top of everything else? Not this gal.

And d’you know what? I think being good is cool these days. Well, cooler than it has been anyway.

It’s partly thanks to the likes of Zooey Deschanel, the Duchess of Cambridge and Mindy Kaling (for girls at least) that I think more and more of us are embracing our inner good girls. I for one think it's a wonderful thing if girls no longer feel pressure to do things (drugs or otherwise) they don't really want to do, purely for the sake of seeming "cool."

Young people today are reinventing traditionally fuddy-duddy activities in a quirky, ironic way. I’m talking about everything from knitting to baking (who even are you if you don’t watch GBBO?)

I made a bobble hat. (This was just the start, obvs.)

The finished hat

We instagram our wild Saturday nights involving cups of tea and Disney films, we tweet about our late nights revising, and we post facebook statuses about our new jobs. Not only are young people not afraid of being perceived in this less than “cool” way, a lot of us actively want to cultivate that image for ourselves.

Proof from my Instagram:

It’s my 22nd birthday next month, and do you know what’s on my wish list? (I’m not too old for a list, right?) Some of you may indeed already know this seeing as I tweeted about it, but I’ll fill you in: a food processor, a blender, a water filter, a spiraliser, an epilator and some sensible shoes. So yeah, I’m basically 21 going on 45. And I’m not even remotely embarrassed about it.

I’m sensible. I’m responsible. I work hard. I’m ambitious. I don’t wish to destroy my liver or lungs through abuse of harmful substances. I’m proud to be how I am and I know I’m not alone.

That said, I’m not trying to say everyone under the age of 25 is as prematurely middle-aged as moi, far from it. There are still tons of young people who get high as kites and off their faces multiple times a week. At uni, just as there are students who spend all day with their heads in textbooks, there are those who skip lectures, fail their exams, don’t hand in essays and simply couldn’t care less.

And hey, even the good gals like myself enjoy letting their hair down! I laaaave a good party as much as the next 21-year-old. Give me a glass of Champers or a Malibu & Diet Coke and just you watch me go! When 1D comes on, you can’t keep me off the dance floor. (If you don’t believe me, ask my friends about the Uni Arts Ball last year. But maybe don’t ask them for too much detail.)

"That's what makes you beautifuuul!"

Speaking of bad dancing, it turns out it’s our parents who are now the wild ones. OK, not my parents, but recent studies have shown that it’s the 40+ lot who are now drinking too much most nights of the weeks and experimenting with drugs. I hear drugs are expensive, so I suppose it kinda makes sense that the oldies are more able to smoke the occasional spliff than the youths. Kinda. Ish.

The thing is, our parents had it pretty great. For their generation, I’m told that if you worked hard as a young professional you could really get on. The economy was doing well and you could start moving up the career ladder like that. *snaps fingers*

Not so much anymore, eh?

But instead of wallowing in despair at the prospect of lifelong unemployment, we’re working hard to try and prevent that happening.

My parents think I’m going to go off the rails in my 40s. Maybe they’re right. I mean, aren’t young people meant to be crazy and stupid and break the rules and make mistakes? I sometimes worry I’m going to regret (nearly) always being the good girl, but a colleague recently said something to me that really hit home.

We were discussing always being good, and he asked me if I was happy. I replied truthfully: yes. He said everything is fine then, and he’s right. (It’s with wisdom like that that you get to be a BBC correspondent, eh?)

At the end of the day I am happy and you can’t force yourself to be wild and crazy and bad if you’re just not.

What’s more, we’ve grown up being taught how harmful drink, drugs and cigarettes are, and so we’re just not as interested as our elders may have been. We’re not idiots. 

Although we do occasionally enjoy a Spritz!

I think it's a real shame young people are so often tarnished with the same brush - why must we all be made out to be one type of person? Maybe now it's starting to change.

So here’s to Generation Sensible! May we get on in life and still have a lot of fun doing so.

Do y’all agree with me?

Click here to vote Handbags and Cupcakes for "Best Lifestyle Blog" in the Cosmopolitan Blog Awards 2014!