The torture of waiting to hear back from a job interview...

pic from careerrocketeer.com

You've had the interview. And since the interview you want the job even more. It's been an agonising few days. Every email you get makes your heart skip a beat. You haven't been able to focus on anything and all you can do is go over the interview again and again in your head, analysing your answers and realising what you could've said better.

You lie awake at night, tossing and turning, unable to think of anything else. You try to do some work during the day to take your mind off it all, but it's no use. You can't concentrate, so instead you end up exploring the area around your would-be office on Google Streetview (oh look, there's a park round the corner... That'd be a nice spot for my lunchbreak), stalking the twitter and LinkedIn profiles of the company's employees and trawling through pages of unrelated search results in the hope of finding one that might tell you something, anything, related to the job you want. And after all that, you're none the wiser. You've only gone and got your heart set yet even more firmly on the job.

As hard as you try not to, you can't help but imagine yourself there, doing your dream job. Who might you meet? What sorts of things might you be doing? Oh, the things you'll learn! You bet everyone will be really helpful and welcoming. "No! Stop it! You haven't actually got the job!" you tell yourself.

You've been trying so hard not to get your hopes up, but that's the trouble with being an optimistic person: you can't help but hope for the best, which makes it all the more horrible if you get rejected. Sure, you've done well to get as far as you have. But getting to the final stage isn't any use when there's only one job. 

It doesn't help when people say "Oh, but who could be more suited to that position than you?" and "Oh, but I bet you come across really well in interviews." Naturally, you play it all down, modestly, saying "Oh no, I'm not sure... The competition is so stiff, I've done my best, and now just have to keep my fingers crossed." And while that's all true, you still want it so badly.

...

Then, after what seems like forever, you finally get the email you've been waiting for. *ping* Oh god. It's from her. This is it.

You open the email. Your heart's racing. "Dear Rachel, thank you for..." You're so nervous you can't even read it properly. Instead you scan for key words - hopefully "pleased" and "congratulations", as opposed to the dreaded "unfortunately."

Or, in my case, after missing a breath every time you got an email for a few days, you end up getting a phone call. While you're at the gym (and thus already slightly out of breath.) You know who it is. Deep breath. "Hello?"